


i should've told you

by kickassfu



Series: things left unsaid [2]
Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst, Eliot's POV, M/M, Short, he's still possessed, inside eliot's head, minimal swearing, season 4, sort of a love letter to Quentin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-18 19:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18125363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickassfu/pseuds/kickassfu
Summary: Q, I love you.I love you more than my insecurities.I love you more than my self-hatred.





	i should've told you

**Author's Note:**

> Words left unsaid between the two...from eliot's pov. There might be a part three of them meeting up, after the monster debacle.

Being stuck in your own mind certainly gives you ample time to think through your many,  _ many _ , mistakes. And no matter how hard I try to think of your soft lips on my skin, or my hands running through your hair,  _ of the good times _ , the times where we loved each other fully, where we had a family - my mind never sticks around to where we were happy for long.

 

_ No. _

 

I do not have the luxury of losing myself on you,  _ with you _ .

 

My mind is a tricky bitch,  _ traitorous even _ , and it just shows me endless re-runs of me breaking your heart. 

 

_ Of me breaking both of our hearts. _

 

It hurts, but it doesn’t hurt half as much as the thought of this monster possessing me hurting you,  _ touching you _ .

 

_ Q, I love you. _

 

I love you more than my insecurities. 

 

I love you more than my self-hatred. 

 

When you told me we should try again, my first thought was  _ yes, yes, yes, yes, please yes _ ...until my brain turned against me and I could see all the things that could go wrong, would go wrong.

 

_ How could you ever love  _ me _? _

 

And instead of grabbing your hand with all my strength, I let it go, ‘cause I’m stupid Q.

 

Trust me, when I finally get my hands on you, I’ll never let go again; fuck all the nonsensical bullshit. 

 

You’re mine, I’m yours, and I can’t see how the world could ever move without you by my side.

 

So just wait, we’re almost there.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm also kickassfu on tumblr~~


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